Home for the holidays

Sandee Kirby fully expected UA President Robert Witt to give her another project when he started asking her the question.

Kirby, director of the UA President's Cabinet and a senior development officer, already had enough on her plate with the president's new plans and initiatives, and she did not want to have to add something else.

So when Witt prefaced his question by saying that her answer would not impact her professionally, she gritted her teeth and prepared to accept whatever new project he wanted her to start.

"Then he said, 'I think we need to see each other socially,' and I just said, 'Sir? Oh, no sir,'" Kirby Witt said.

Things turned out a little different, though. After dating for many months, Witt and Kirby Witt were married on Sept. 14 in a private ceremony in the chapel at Christ Episcopal Church.

When they started to think about getting married, Witt said they both knew there was a likelihood of a large amount of public attention focused on their wedding because of his position. If they had a public ceremony, it would have been difficult to keep it small.

"We decided there was no in between," Witt said. "We couldn't have a small public ceremony. And we felt it would be best to not let anyone know in advance because there was the likelihood of someone trying to turn it into a public event."

Instead, it was a short ceremony on the Friday afternoon before the Arkansas game that few knew about. Only Kirby Witt's daughter, son-in-law, grandson, mother, stepfather and her two closest friends attended the ceremony.

After the ceremony, Witt and Kirby Witt planned to have a small party for their closest friends. Because they both have birthdays in September, Witt said they asked people to come over to have a glass of wine in celebration of their birthdays.

Kirby Witt said some of their friends already thought something was up.

"Several of them had decided in their minds that we were getting engaged, so they came kind of with a smirk thinking they knew the secret," she said. "However, we tricked them instead."

Both were previously married. Witt and his first wife Anne divorced in 2005, and Kirby Witt's first husband Jim passed away in 2004. Because this was not the first wedding for either of them, Kirby Witt said they wanted to be respectful to every situation.

To honor her former husband, Witt said he suggested she go by Sandee Kirby Witt instead of using her maiden name as her middle name.

They met when Witt interviewed in 2002 for the position of University president - Kirby Witt served on the search committee because of her role as director of the president's cabinet and as the liaison between the University and the UA System Board of Trustees.

But Kirby Witt said they were both married when Witt first came to the University, so the idea of a relationship is not something that would ever have been considered.

"We worked together, but we were both very, very married and we were not socially friends as couples," Kirby Witt said. "It was never in our minds, but then life takes you in such weird ways."

Rocky first dates

When they started dating, Witt said the scenario was much different for the president of the University than for most people who start dating.

For their first date, Witt and Kirby Witt went to dinner at Pepito's with another couple. The next morning Witt said one of his colleagues asked him how he had enjoyed Pepito's. Soon everyone seemed to know about it.

"While we were in the restaurant, people who saw us together were getting on their cell phones and calling other people to say, 'I think President Witt is out with Sandee Kirby,'" Witt said.

He said he almost put their relationship at risk during the first basketball season. He asked Kirby Witt to sit with him in his seats during the game, but she said she was nervous about sitting with the chancellor and board of trustees members.

At the game, Witt said an unbelievable number of people at the game wound their way around Coleman Coliseum so they could walk by and say, "Hey, Bob. Hey, Sandee."

Then the announcer told the spectators that there were 14,450 in Coleman for the game, Witt said.

He leaned over to Kirby Witt and told her that 450 were watching the game and 14,000 were watching them.

"Of course that did a lot for my nerves with the chancellor sitting behind us and the trustees," Kirby Witt said.

New family life

Not being married was more unusual for Witt and Kirby Witt after being married previously, so he said settling into married life has been pretty easy.

Kirby Witt said their lives have not changed that much. Now neither of them has to go home to an empty house, but she said it is still standard once they get to work.

She still works in the office of advancement, but she said she will retire after this year. Then Kirby Witt said she will use an empty room on the third floor of the President's mansion as an office to help plan events.

"I'll be here a little bit each day to continue to be their best volunteer," Kirby Witt said. "The great thing is I can continue working for the University, but for free."

Rather than seeing herself as the first lady of the University, Kirby Witt said she is just Witt's wife.

"Since I went to school here and now have worked here for over 25 years, I would never term myself as the first lady," Kirby Witt said. "That's not me. It never has been me."

Witt said Kirby Witt knows the University more thoroughly than most of the spouses of the University's presidents, so they share a love of the campus and its students and alumni.

They also share a love of their grandchildren. Kirby Witt's daughter has an 18-month-old son, and Witt's son has a 15-month-old daughter.

Her grandson Will even became a part of their wedding ceremony. Even though it was short, Witt said Will started to walk around and decided that it was time for Kirby Witt to pick him up just before they exchanged rings.

Kirby Witt said she held her grandson on her hip while trying to help Witt put the ring on her finger and to put the ring on his finger.

"It was hysterical," Kirby Witt said. "Afterwards my daughter said, 'I guess he was the ring bearer.'"

Both grandchildren will be in Tuscaloosa for Christmas when all the families come to visit for Kirby Witt and Witt's first Christmas together after four months of being married.

And that means Santa Claus will also be coming to Tuscaloosa for the grandchildren.

Kirby Witt said they decided for Christmas to get a motorized toy Cadillac Escalade for her grandson to ride, and one day the housekeeper called to tell her the toy had arrived. In a very large box. In pieces.

The next Sunday afternoon, she said Witt spent three hours putting the toy car together. Once all of the frustrating pieces had been screwed in and the car was finished, Witt read the last line of the instructions that said assembly should only require one hour of adult attention.

"I do want to assure you that your president runs the University well, thinks about the University all the time," Kirby Witt said. "However, he can also be a handyman."