It happened sometime between when the plate of mounded meal plan manna exploded, hitting the quasi-clean floor of Lakeside and when the student who dropped it like a bad pass from John Parker Wilson walked away that I realized it. The term “roll tide” is like forgiveness from God on this campus.
No matter what you do, tacking “roll tide” onto the end not only fixes the situation but grabs a raucous round of returned “roll tides” as well.
The loose-handed Lakeside eater just goes to prove the point — as soon as the food scattered across the tile, the quick-witted student out burst with a loud “roll tide.” Not only was embarrassment avoided, but he was turned into an instant celebrity.
Everybody around broke out in communal laughter; it was like right before they cut to commercial in “Saved by the Bell.” I half expected music to cue and Screech to walk out from around the corner (then again, knowing his bad career, he might be working there as we speak).
After the student had made a half-hearted attempt to pick up the spilled food, an employee came over to relieve him of his duty and he coyly strutted back to his table whilst everyone stared.
Under normal circumstances he would have been looked at like a leper (at least Jesus would have saved him). Since the “roll tide” followed his fumble, however, everyone stared at him like, “It was probably the plate’s fault; at least he’s an Alabama fan.”
That is what it has come to here in Tuscaloosa though; the marriage of football to this school is so great that just by merely mentioning your love of the crimson and white you can escape any punishment. Do you really think it’s like that anywhere else in the nation?
If I’m sitting in Columbus, Ohio, and someone spills Starbucks on me and then follows it up with “Go Buckeyes,” I’m a hell of a lot less likely to pardon them. I’d probably curse them out about how their football mascot is a glorified peanut and then ask for another mocha Frappucino.
It’s a completely different story in good ol’ T-Town. Someone spills Starbucks on me and shoots out a “roll tide,” hell I’ll even buy them the next cup of joe.
Just think of it this way — how much better would the situation had been if after the SEC Championship Game ticket fiasco of 2008 (T-shirts are on the way) the Athletic Department released the two-word statement of “roll tide?” All would have been better in the world. Everyone who was mad would have had to chuckle to themselves and then go back to crying.
It’s only a matter of time before “roll tide” catches on everywhere. It could be the new “My bad.” Next time your parents ask you why you’re pulling a 1.4 grade point average just reply with roll tide. I mean in that case you may as well — it’s not like an actual drawn-out excuse will do you any good.
The best use of the word, however, has to be coming from a drunken person. When drunk, an Alabama fan will say “Roll tide” more times than an Obama supporter will randomly blurt out, “Yes we can.”
Dave Folk is a news editor for The Crimson White. His column runs on Fridays.
Be the first to comment on this article!
Log in to be able to post comments.